My name is Chris Ahchay, I am getting on for 50 years old, and have been playing videogames for the vast majority of my time on this plane.

I remember a time before videogames. I remember hearing Space Invaders for the first time, a sound that I will take with me to my grave. I remember when Pac Man was this strange new thing that demanded to be played. I remember putting my 10p on the monitor glass to reserve my first go on Defender, and then squandering it in 15 glorious seconds. I remember lusting after the ranks of home computers in my local Boots the Chemist. I have grown old with videogames, and they have grown up with me.

I own, or have owned, almost every device capable of playing videogames released in the last 50 years – from the Magnavox Odyssey, through the Sinclair Spectrum all the way through to the PS5 and whatever the new Xbox is called. I have played pretty much every game of significant note. Manic Miner, Tetris, several iterations of Sonic and Mario, Lemmings, Colossal Cave, Speedball, Bioshock, Burnouts 1, 2, 3 and Paradise, Dayyyyyytona, Rock Band, Arkanoid, Tempest 2000, Monkey Island, Final Fantasy, Gunpey, Titus the Fucking Fox. If it moves and bleeps then I’ve probably given it a go somewhere along the line.

I can play Robotron with a moderate amount of skill, I have beaten Civ at Deity level, and even though I still can’t beat bloody Rez, I have poured hundreds of hours, and thousands of pounds into this dirty videogaming habit.

In short, I feel I’m qualified to a fucking opinion.

And here it is.